Nothing Between Us
by itslivinginallofus
Summary: EmmaxManny, MannyxEmma. A love story between Emma and Manny. Hehe. Not great at summaries? I just love these 2 together. Takes place any time after the Venus episodes. Manny's POV. Please review with what compels you, just don't gay bash, k? Awesome!
1. Confusion, Happiness, and Arousal

Chapter 1 - Confusion, Happiness, and Arousal

Chapter 1 - Confusion, Happiness, and Arousal

So, I'm wondering how long we can both pretend that I wasn't totally checking her out. Here we are getting ready for the first rehearsal of Degrassi's winter play, "A Mid Summer Night's Dream" which we both have leads in because of how well we worked together in "Castle Dracula" last year. Ms. Kwan told us that we had chemistry - and she was right. Emma and I have been through everything together ever since she shared her pail and shovel with me back in preschool, and we agreed to keep nothing between us, no emotional walls or secrets, and we've stayed true to that; for the most part anyway. But that doesn't matter now, because anything I may have conveniently left out about my sexual preference in the past is pretty much obvious since I made absolutely no effort to turn around while Emma was changing. In fact, my eyes were probably dark and wild as they so obviously scanned her amazing body up and down. Only when she said my name did I realize what I was doing and turned around before she saw me turn red.

And then somehow I go from blatant attraction, to mild embarrassment, to tears streaming down my cheeks, realizing that in just a second of not thinking, I could have once again ruined a friendship that has lasted our whole lives and that I need to survive. Okay, I'm jumping the gun a little bit, but Emma is the one person in my life who I can never take things too lightly with. Ironically the thing that gets us into the most arguments has something to do with guys, but at least with that we know how to work around it. This is completely out of left field, and now all I can do is wait for the angry, freaked out questioning that is sure to begin. Instead, she puts a hand on my shoulder from behind.

"Hey," she says gently, "Why are you crying?"

I open my mouth to answer her, but I'm shocked that it was the first thing she asked. No screaming, no crying, just a straightforward question that is a lot easier to answer than the several questions I had anticipated. I decide that a straightforward question deserves a straightforward answer, and that at this point, all I can do is be honest. "I just feel stupid, and I hate doing stupid things when it comes to you."

She again shocks me by laughing the laugh that I've come to adore. "Manny, it's okay. Seriously. Don't worry."

It's okay? Are we thinking of the same thing here? I'm trying to figure out what she didn't understand about what just happened. Did she not realize I was checking her out? She had to have, she's the one that broke me out of my obvious trance. Maybe she thinks I was just daydreaming or just looking, in a non-sexual way. Part of me thinks I can get away with this, and that I should just run with it. Play it off like I was just in another world and happened to be looking in her direction, but I can't. I promised her that there would be nothing between us, and the least I owe her is to be completely honest. I turn around to face her and gaze up into her sympathetic eyes. "I can't not worry when it comes to you," I say honestly.

An interesting look that appears like a mixture of confusion, happiness, and arousal is now on her face. "I know," she says, which for some reason makes my stomach jump in the best way possible "But I don't want you to."

Now we're both silent, standing before one another, and even though neither of us are sure why, the look in her eyes is telling me that doing what I've wanted to for so long is okay. I finally decide that why doesn't matter when I place a hand on her hip, pull her as close to me as possible, and kiss her passionately, making up for all the fantasies where she ended up vanishing at this part. She breathes shakily into my mouth and I can feel the arms that hold onto my back trembling, but despite the fact that she's obviously a bit scared, she deepens the kiss by massaging her tongue against mine. I never imagined how amazing it would feel to be caught up in this moment with the most beautiful and amazing girl I've ever met, and when she touches my face with her hand, it's just the motivation I need to push her up against the wall, our kiss growing with intensity and a surge running through my body when she gasps at my hands binding her wrists to the wall.

She takes the unexpected initiative of tugging on my bottom lip with her teeth, and I can't help but moan restlessly into her mouth. I'm guessing this turns her on since suddenly the tiny hairs on her arms are held at attention by newly formed goose bumps. As much as molten hot blood courses through my body at this staggering connection, I somehow feel like a third-party bystander, having no clue or control of what will happen next, but loving every second of it. Our contact is that of two lovers who long ago fell desperately in love, were pulled apart for years, and are now reunited for the first time in ages, still remembering every detail of how to create the perfect love making. Neither of us can anticipate the next touch, breath, or movement, but I know that I'm not worried in the least.

The next thing I know, my hands are hooking themselves under her knees, sliding her up the wall until I am safely carrying her in my arms, not once breaking the kiss. I instinctively walk towards the bed, but naturally all of our clothes and other crap is on it and I don't want to break our contact to move it off. I settle for the computer chair, which I move with my foot so it is against the wall. I go to sit down and I can tell that she is doing what she can to safely guide me into a sitting position, her legs still wrapped around my waist tightly. Practically straddling me, she enjoys the opportunity that she now has to top me, and I open my eyes just in time to see an almost wicked smile grace her lips. She presses her hands against the wall behind me in the chair and uses the leverage to move herself closer and further from me, teasing me with short, interrupted kisses. I hear sexually frustrated whines escape my own lips, not liking the change from what we just had, but I can tell she's loving every minute of driving me crazy.

I decide it's my turn for a little fun when I dance my polished nails up her bear stomach, knowing it's one of her most ticklish spots. Her arms retreat from the wall in defense, and I use this opportunity to hold her hands with mine. Running my fingers along her mid section reminded me all the more of the fact that she is still only wearing a bra above the waist, and suddenly, my mouth longs to taste her skin. I begin kissing down her neck, which I know she likes by the fact that her breathing increases and she arches her neck back as far as possible so that I do not miss a single spot. I continue to kiss downward, and as much as I want to take off her bra and fulfill one of my deepest needs, there is still a fraction of my conscience working that doesn't want to take things too fast and mess everything up for good. So, instead, I kiss as much of her cleavage as the clothing barrier will allow, savoring each miniscule bead of sweat as it evaporates on my lips. When I drag my mouth over her clothed breasts and begin kissing the curves underneath them, I feel her nails dig into my upper back as she breathlessly, yet forcefully, speaks my name in a glorious exhale. Now I know for sure that any communication between my brain and body is shot as her presence, voice, and touch utterly intoxicate me. I feel the three powerful and potentially ill-fated words creep up my throat and realize how long I have wanted to say them and how many times I have come close.

Just as they are about to leave my lips and evanesce into the air, the door to our basement room being flung open stops both of us in our tracks. Emma, with record timing, leaps from my lap and dashes over to the mirror, nonchalantly greeting Darcy, who was our ride to rehearsal, even before she puts her shirt back on. Here I am ready to die in my anxiousness, and she handles it like a pro. I silently wonder if she got her practice sneaking around from she and Jay's secret affair, but the thought makes me too jealous and I ignore it.

Darcy greets us with her typical ear-to-ear grin, and even though she is acting no different than any other day, it still takes me a good few minutes to relax and fully realize that we didn't get caught. To make it worse, my nerve endings are still all charged to the max, my mind and body in a complete reverie, and it doesn't help when Darcy sits on my lap, lazily throwing an arm around my shoulder. Emma's touch still burns on my skin, and I'm surprised that Darcy can't feel the heat emanating off of me. I try to read Emma's eyes in the mirror, wondering if this is making her the slightest bit jealous even though Darcy is 100 straight. I don't know why I'm hoping that it would, but based on her facial expression, nothing just happened between she and I, and it's worrying me.

After telling us a story about Friendship Club that I only half listened to, Darcy stands from my lap and heads for the stairs. "Well, it's freezing out so I'm going to go warm up the car, but seriously guys, we need to leave in, like, two minutes or we'll be late."

I force a smile, knowing that if I don't snap out of it, Darcy's bound to know that something's up. I figured this would at least give me a minute to see if Emma was completely freaked out before we go into what could be a 3 hour rehearsal. But before I can say a word, Emma darts by me, fully dressed, to the stairs, "Darcy, hang on, I'll go with you," she says, not even paying me a second glance on her way by. I automatically panic, having the feeling that I shouldn't have let things go as far as they did. We live together now, and we have all the same scenes in "A Mid Summer Night's Dream," so there was really no room for messing things up with her. I glance at the clock and take a deep breath, knowing that I'll have to try and wait to see how badly I fucked up this time.


	2. Internal Coming Out Story

Chapter 2 - Internal Coming Out Story

When I say that Emma and I keep no secrets from each other, I mean it. We made a specific vow considering every time we tried to hide things from one another, it failed miserably and made no sense since it always seemed to get us into trouble. The only thing I haven't gotten around to doing is the whole "I'm not exactly straight" talk that I've been avoiding forever. I've thought over and over again about the easiest way to have this inevitable conversation, but there really isn't one. If you asked anyone at Degrassi about Manny Santos, the nicest way they could describe me is boy crazy, but most prefer whore, slut, or "desperate for male attention" as one particular asshole put it, and while they're definitely all horrible for calling me these things, I can kind of see where some might get the notion that they're true. I sort of have a reputation for going after a guy that had a girlfriend, getting pregnant, and flashing my boobs while drunk to a sleaze with a video camera, and yeah, the whole school knows. But Emma definitely knows the most about all of these things, having gone through them with me even if we weren't on good terms at the time, and even she, as my best friend in the world, doesn't know the truth underneath all of the craziness, although now she might have an inkling.

To what would probably be the shock of the century to my schoolmates, guys have never been an interest of mine. I could tell even when I was really young that there was something different about me from other girls my age, this fascination with boys that I just didn't have. I convinced myself it was normal despite my mother's insisting that I will someday find the man of my dreams, and my classmates wanting to kiss boys on the playground. It was easier to justify since Emma and I were pretty much on the same level until the summer going into grade 7 when she had started talking to "Jordan" online. I remember feeling a twinge of jealousy every time she would talk about him, but I convinced myself that I just didn't want him taking my best friend away. I started to get scared though when I was having feelings for Emma similar to the crush feelings she had for Sean or that Liberty had for J.T. I again tried to convince myself that it was a normal way to feel about your best friend, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I looked at girls differently than most other girls did. Kind of how Paige Michalchuk heading up Spirit Squad might have had a teeny bit more to do with me joining than I had lead on, and when she and Hazel hooked arms with me after school one day, it made my stomach feel funny in a "good-different" way. Of course that lasted for about 5 minutes until I realized Paige was a megabitch partly due to Emma's warning. It was actually after I had stood up to Paige at school that Emma came over and cheered me up. We were sitting on the steps so close together that her knee touched mine, and I looked into her eyes, and that "good-different" feeling came back but about 10 times more intense. I still remember the distinct urge to lean in and kiss her, and the even stronger urge to stop myself. It was that moment that I knew for sure that I couldn't fool myself any longer. This was not normal best friend behavior, and I knew for sure that it in no way was okay by my parents' conservative standards.

My uncle Ricky had been in my life a lot when I was young, and I loved him a lot. Even though you're not supposed to have favorites, he was probably my favorite uncle. He would take me all the fun places that I wanted to go and always have a smile on his face. When I was 9, all of a sudden uncle Ricky stopped coming around and my parents never mentioned him. When I asked my dad about it, he said that uncle Ricky had chosen a life for himself that we did not tolerate, and until he changed his mind, he would have to do without us in his life. He told me that being homosexual was filthy and wrong, and that until uncle Ricky could find a nice girl to settle down with, he would not be coming around anymore. I wasn't positive what homosexual meant at the time, but when I started having these feelings, I was sure of it. I felt cornered, panicked, and trapped. I was afraid that if I told my parents, even to try and get help, that they would cut me out of their lives like they did with uncle Ricky, who I still haven't seen since I was a kid. I told myself once again that it had to be a stage, and that I had to get over it, and what better way to get over something than by doing the complete opposite? When Craig hinted that he liked me, I used it as my chance to help "fix my problem." I knew that it would hurt Emma in the process, but in a way, I thought it would be like killing two birds with one stone - I could work on liking guys with Craig, and also keep him away from Emma so that I wouldn't lose her. I kept telling myself how cute, nice, and mature Craig was, and even though I was echoing most of what I had heard from Emma, I was happy to at least pass as normal. It got to the point where nothing was out of the question when it came to getting this so-called normal life. I completely abandoned my comfort zone and changed my image to attract guys' attention, and I even lost Emma as a friend for a good part of our grade 9 year. Looking back on it, part of me thinks that I pushed her away then and other times because I knew that these feelings for her weren't going away, and I didn't want to fall any harder than I had. I don't know why I thought that the harder I pushed, the better my chances would get at being straight, or why I didn't learn my lesson the first time, but it wasn't until after I had hurt Emma yet another time when the whole fiasco with Peter erupted that I realized that A. My feelings for Emma and girls in general were not going away, and B. Even if they would never be requited, I couldn't risk losing her again.

I snap out of my internal coming out story when I hear Darcy speak my name in a tone that suggests she has been trying to get my attention for awhile. "Sorry. What?" I reply.

"You haven't been acting yourself tonight, Manny, are you okay?" Darcy asks, glancing at me in the rear view mirror as she pulls into the parking lot of Degrassi.

"No, no, I'm fine," I lie, "I just haven't had a real chance to look over my lines yet, so I'm a bit nervous."

While my attention paid to Darcy is obviously diverted, I automatically lock eyes with Emma when she turns around to face me from the passenger seat. "Well, it is just a read-through so I wouldn't worry about it too much," she says with a soft but seemingly genuine smile.

Both anxious and relieved butterflies swarm my stomach at the same time. She doesn't seem to be mad at me, but she could just be putting on a front for Darcy who obviously thinks something is up. What kills me is that I won't be able to get any real insight into what Emma is thinking until after rehearsal, which is bound to be long since it is the first. I realize the only thing I can do is try to grin and bear it as the three of us walk into the gym, Darcy in the middle.


	3. Crossing the Line

Chapter 3 - Crossing the Line

If Emma is feeling even half the anxiety that I am about all this, then she sure is doing a damn good job at hiding it. Now that we're driving back, she and Darcy have the radio up almost to the max and are shouting a carefree rendition to some new pop song that I don't even know the name of. It doesn't make sense for Emma to be completely fine and me to be a nervous wreck -- unless Emma is just going to pretend that nothing happened between us. I don't know if she'll call it temporary insanity, feeling obligated, or just plain hormones, but I know it's more than that for me, and I don't know if I can handle her pretending that's all that it was. The connection we had a mere few hours ago was so real that we were both riddled by it powerlessly, like being sucked into an undertow and not even bothering to fight it. If she can dig up those kind of emotions for any frivolous hook up, then there are some things she's been keeping from me and I intend to find them out.

Darcy gives us each a quick hug before we head into the house, beeping her horn as she drives off and scaring the crap out of nervous me. As we walk in, all I want to do is call it a night so I can figure out what's going on with Emma as soon as possible, but naturally Spike asks Emma to do some dishes before she goes to bed. I walk down the stairs, feeling each step pound in my head as I go. I start to contemplate a few ways to handle this as Emma washes dishes; I could quickly change into pajamas and pretend to sleep so that I'm spared a painful conversation. I could sit at the computer pretending to do homework and wait for Emma to bring it up or not. This is crazy. The truth of the matter is that we crossed the friendship line no matter what happens next, and I need to face the reality of the situation even if I don't like it. I think when Emma comes downstairs I'll finally have "the talk" with her just like I broke it down in my head earlier so she knows that this is a part of who I am and the pressure gets taken off of what happened for the moment. I decide that changing into something more comfortable isn't a bad idea so that if the conversation doesn't go well I can get right into bed afterward.

After changing, I stand in front of the mirror to put my hair into a ponytail, and I hear Emma coming down the stairs, shutting the door behind her. I try to look casual, thinking of how I should start the conversation. I look down at my hands that are fidgeting like crazy, and right as I open my mouth to say her name, Emma startles me by wrapping her arms around my waist from behind, eliciting an almost verbal reaction from me and causing me to practically fall backwards into her arms. In 5 seconds, I have completely forgotten whatever it was I was going to say, and decide that I'm going to let her take the lead on this one. She drags her lips to my ear, and although her voice is louder than a whisper, she says, "I guess we'll have to pick up where we left off earlier, huh?" "Mmm" is the only sound that I can manage, but she rightfully takes that as a yes by turning me to face her and kissing me passionately on the lips. Even more than I am aroused, I'm relieved that this hasn't freaked her out, or yet anyway. With that possibility in mind, I can't help but say, "I just want you to know that while nothing makes me happier than what just happened between us, if you ever want this to stop, all you have to do is say so, no questions asked. Okay?" Her head tilts back as she laughs from deep within, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Yeah... okay" she says to me with a hint of sarcasm as she moves her hands down my body, pulls me firmly towards her, and takes me with her as she shuts off the lights.

It isn't until just before midnight that I move from on top of Emma to beside her on the bed, placing the final kiss of the night on her mouth which is breathing out hot and bated air. Her expression suggests that she wants to say something, and for better or worse, I'm dying to know what.

"What is it, Babe?" I ask.

Again, she completely surprises me by saying. "Nothing really. I just hope I was okay, you know? I know this isn't the first time you've had sex, so, I have some competition."

Suddenly I have to blink back tears just knowing that Emma Nelson thinks that anyone can compete with her as far as my heart is concerned. "You weren't okay, you were amazing, so please don't worry," I say, stealing one more kiss even though I told myself I wouldn't.

For some reason, it seems as if that is what she wanted to hear, because she smiles and murmurs a barely audible "good night" as she rolls over with her back facing me, and I wrap my arms around her waist. That night may not have been the first that I had sex, but it was definitely the first that I had an orgasm, and I figured that couldn't really be explained without "the talk" that we obviously didn't have. At this moment though, with her in my arms, it's pretty safe to say it doesn't matter.


	4. Chemistry

Chapter 4 - Chemistry

The worst part of ending a play other than the experience being over is the dreaded striking of the set, especially since the rule is that the entire cast and crew has to be at Degrassi by 9 A.M. the next day to get the gym cleared for classes again. Deciding it was probably better to stay late and get it done rather than have to get up early tomorrow, a bunch of us volunteered to do it tonight, promising Ms. Kwan that we will clean everything up. As a cast we have all become really close, and I love spending time with them, but I've had a hard time all night keeping my eyes and mind off of Emma. Now that we've been hooking up for a little over two months, It's gotten to the point where we can barely be within arms reach of one another without wanting to get physical, which is why I strategically tried to pick different chores than her that night.

Nate looked at his watch and broke the side conversations to speak to all of us. "Hey, Guys, The Dot is only open for another hour and a half if we still want to get food there as a group"

"But we're not done cleaning, and you know Ms. Kwan will flip," Liberty said.

Desperate for some time alone with Emma to celebrate our last night of onstage victory, I clear my throat and speak up. "You guys go on ahead and get a table, get your orders in, all that. Emma and I will finish up and meet you there."

"Are you sure?" Darcy asked, "You don't want someone else to stay and help?"

"No, not at all, the most that's left is some sweeping and moving everything back to the prop closet. Plus, we don't have curfew so it's okay if we get back a little late. We'll see you guys in, like, a half hour," I say, praying that no one will want to stay behind.

Luckily my prayers are answered as they all take up their stuff and head out. I walk them to the doors of the gym to make sure they're all heading right for the exit, and as I walk back in, I close the door and can't help but stare at Emma's ass as she bends over, cleaning up. I sneak up behind her, dancing my fingers up her sides underneath her shirt, but it's only when I feel her body stiffen that I hear her crying.

"Sweetie, what is it?" I ask, turning her to face me. In all the years that we've known each other, I've only seen Emma cry a handful of times, and each time about something more or less serious. When the only response to my question is more tears, I lean up to dry them with a kiss when she gently pushes me away.

"Manny, I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore," she says, covering her face with her hands and turning away from me again, which I'm almost glad for, because even as an actress, I can't disguise the look of utter heartbreak and devastation on my face.

I know I shouldn't ask why since I had told her the day that we first kissed that all she had to do was say stop and I would. But I had to know what went wrong. "I can't really do much other than respect your decision, and I know I probably shouldn't ask this, but why? What changed? I mean, I thought this was working for both of us," I said, trying not to let the desperation in my voice show through too clearly since no matter what happened, we would still have to live and go to school together.

"I just can't do something like this unless there's feelings involved," she says, driving a knife right through my heart. I feel like all the wind has been knocked out of me, and while I've kind of known all along that she would never like me in "that way," I guess it just hurt more to be said out loud.

Now I'm the one to turn away from her, not wanting her to see my face as I can tell she is about to face me and say something else. "I mean, I know you think I'm physically attractive, but for me it's been getting harder every day to know that I want to be with you in a romantic way and you don't feel the same."

It takes me a second to even properly register what she just said, and as soon as I do, I turn around so quickly that I can tell that I've startled her. "What?" is the only thing I can manage to say, wanting to clarify that I'm hearing things right.

Tears start to more steadily stream down her cheeks as a hurt expression overcomes her beautiful face. "Manny, please, this is hard enough for me without having to explain or defend how I feel about you! Don't make this any harder on me."

The reflex in my heart that automatically tells me to protect her from being hurt kicks into gear as I instinctively move towards her and hold her waist, glad that she doesn't move away. "No, no, that's not what I was asking about. You -- actually think that I don't have feelings for you? Romantic feelings?"

She looks just as surprised at the possibility of us feeling the same way about one another when she says, her voice quiet and small, "Well, I don't know, you never said anything..."

I instantly interrupt with, "That's because I was... I didn't think you'd... whatever, it doesn't matter, I do have feelings for you. I've had feelings for you since grade 7."

Her brow slightly furrowed, out of surprise rather than anything negative. "You have for that long? But - what about everything with Craig and all the other guys?"

Again I struggle to find the right words. "Everything that happened with those guys, it was kind of... I don't know, it's complicated," and then I swallow hard and got ready to say what I had never said aloud to anyone, not even myself, "Em, I'm pretty sure I'm gay."

The strangest feeling came over me after saying those last few words -- it was like I had cinder blocks strapped to each shoulder and after saying that and having it be returned with a softly reassuring smile and nod from Emma, the cinder blocks melted off of me and dissolved into the air. I took a deep breath of relief and asked her what I had been wondering for months now. "Are -- are you?"

Emma also exhaled deeply and simply said, "I'm pretty sure I'm not sure," with a laugh.

I take both of her hands in mine so she knows that I mean it and say "It's okay to be unsure. It's even better if you don't have to go through it alone." The brief silence gives me the opportunity to lead her over to the stage area with me and sit down. I was sure that if I didn't sit soon, my shaky legs were going to give out beneath me.

As we sit down, she smiles at me again and raises one of my hands to her lips and kisses it. "I mean I guess what I'm saying is I don't know what someone would label me as. I've never really been attracted to other girls, but I know I'm attracted to you," she said with such honesty and passion that it made both of us blush a little.

I thought for a few seconds in my head before asking another question, because I couldn't really tell if this whole topic of sexuality was uneasy for her or something she wanted to discuss more. But again, I thought back to our vow of keeping nothing between us, and figured that now was a good time to ask. "Well... how did you know you were attracted to me? Or maybe not how, I mean... when? What told you that this was more than the friendship that we've had since we were babies?"

I can see that she is feeling vulnerable, and before I get the chance to tell her that she doesn't have to answer my question if she doesn't want to, she rests her head on my shoulder, nestling into the perfect spot between my neck and chin, and I put my arm around her. Her fingers draw random paths on the back of my other hand that rests on her knee as a substitute for making eye contact as she begins to answer my question. "Well... the first time I really knew that this was going farther than friendship was when the thought of you getting with another guy made me insanely jealous. I was tired of seeing you getting hurt, but more than that, I was the one that wanted to show you that you could be treated better than that. You've always been the #1 person in my life, whether we were fighting or not, but I guess it started to cross that friendship line when you moved in and every morning I would wake up next to you. I'd see you sleeping and, I just... fell in love with that feeling of consistency. And I'd think back at how no matter what things we would go through, even when it felt like it was over for us, we'd find a way back to each other and things would work themselves out. I just feel like now that we're older, it's been easier to realize what we have as an attraction, which is what we do have. It's like, a connection, a -"

And for the first time in this speech of hers that I had been reveling in, I interrupted with, "A chemistry?"

Suddenly goose bumps overtake my arms as she rubs her head upwards against my neck, her soft hair caressing one of my most sensitive areas. Now face to face, she leans in and kisses me with more intensity than ever before. The guise of our connection being nothing more than "a sex thing" has clearly disappeared now that we've talked things over, and I can feel the difference in every way -- the way she looks at me, the way she touches me, the way she kisses me. After another quick kiss, she looks in my eyes and says "Yeah. A chemistry."

She takes the liberty of putting my arm around her as it was before, rests her head on my shoulder once again, and tightens her free arm around my waist. We sit holding each other in silence for a moment before me and my emotions can't take it anymore. Tears begin streaming from my eyes, and as quiet as I'm trying to be, a few must slip down and hit her, because she automatically sits up and holds my face in her hands.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?" she asks, her voice quiet and eyes full of concern.

I stop to try and find my voice. "I've just wanted to be with you for so long" is the only thing that manages to come out before I avert eye contact and begin to quietly cry again. Jeez, I never knew I could even cry this much, but with Emma, I guess I never stop being surprised.

Speaking of surprises, she tickles underneath my chin so that I stop crying and look back into her eyes. "Well you are with me now, okay? Look, I'm not going to say that I know all the answers, or that this will be easy. I don't know what things will be like at school, I don't know what I'm going to tell my parents, but I do know that..." and then her voice trails off for a second as if she's afraid of my reaction to whatever she's about to say, "That I love you."

Her eyes begin to get a little misty, but before either of us can shed another tear, I pull her towards me in a kiss so passionate that she gasps into my mouth, deciding that neither of us should have to cry anymore now that we're together. My heart beats even faster than I thought possible when she laughs as I scoop up her legs that are dangling off the side of the stage and lay her down on her back, still kissing her, and caught up in this mutual almost frantic need to be kissing and touching each other at all times, similar to the first night we ever kissed -- but this is different. This time I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night, making sure that she's still there. I don't have to worry every day that she's going to have enough and break it off. I don't have to worry that that this is all going to be a dream, and that once again, Emma will be nothing but my unreachable fantasy. No... now I can look at her during those moments when we're out of breath from kissing and say "I love you" and actually hear it back... and that is exactly what I do.


End file.
